I want to tell you

I need you

I want you

I want to see you each day

I want to be in your arms each day

In my spot each day

 

But I feel like saying this and asking this is too much

I want you to want these things, without me asking

I want you to want to be with me like I want to be with you

 

So I’ll stop asking when

I will say I miss you because I do

But I’ll stop prompting conversations and interactions

I want you to be with me, but I can’t make you and I don’t want to hound you and keep asking

 

So I’ll pull back to protect myself

Even though it hurts because this isn’t me

I want to tell you how I feel

But I’m afraid to because I like you more than I think you like me

 

So I’ll step back

Not because I don’t care

But because I care too much

And I don’t know that you feel the same

I don’t know that you don’t

I just don’t know

 

But know that I have always meant what I have said to you

Always

You saved me and gave me strength

You made me feel safe and secure

But I don’t know how to ask you what you want- what’s too much, what’s too little

I don’t know how to do this with you

I don’t know how to tell you what I want to tell you without being rejected

I don’t know what you want

And not knowing scares me

Pulling back scares me

Not saying my feelings scares me

I just want to tell you everything but I don’t know how